Chapters Three
& Four
1. Lupton begins chapter
three with his account of Christmas, 1981, when he celebrated the season as a
newcomer to an urban neighborhood. He
highlights the departure of the father during the opening of gifts to his
children, provided by others. Lupton
attributes this absence to the emasculation of the father, unable to provide
for his own children. Noting such
charity as a perversion and toxic, he concludes, “This thorough look at the
anatomy of my charity eventually exposed an unhealthy culture of dependency.”
“Doing for rather than doing with those is need is the norm. Add to it the combination of patronizing pity
and unintended superiority, and charity becomes toxic.” He goes on to cite Haiti and Africa as
broader examples.
Can you recall any
similar or dissimilar examples from your experience with giving? Where do you agree or disagree with his
conclusions?
2. Lupton states, “It is
difficult work…establishing authentic parity between people of unequal
power. But relationships built on
reciprocal exchange…make this possible.
And parity is the higher form of charity.”
What
are the challenges to reaching such parity, and how did Lupton succeed?
3. Lupton notes that mercy combined with justice creates:
- Immediate
care with a future plan
- Emergency
relief and responsible development
-
Short-term intervention and long-term involvement
- Heart
responses and engaged minds
He adds, “In a strange twist of divine irony, those who
would extend mercy discover that they themselves are in need of mercy. Out of our own need, we are readied for
service that is both humble and wise.”
How do you view this
relationship between mercy and justice?
4. He concludes this
chapter by stating, “There is no simple or immediate way to discern the right response without a relationship. After all the questions, this is the best I
could offer John: due diligence. And if you don’t have time to invest in
forging a trusting relationship, give your money to a ministry that does.”
How do you approach
discernment and due diligence?
5. In chapter four,
Lupton introduces the Georgia Avenue Food Co-op, which fosters community. He promotes converting food pantries into
food co-ops. The problem with the
former, he notes is that they foster dependency. “Forging ahead to meet a need, we often
ignore the basics: mutuality, reciprocity, accountability. In doing so, relationships turn toxic.”
What is your
experience with food pantries versus food co-ops? Do you agree with Lupton’s conclusions here?
6. Finally, Lupton says,
“The giver-recipient relationship is doomed from the start. Such relationships hardly foster trust. Usually they breed resentment. If trust is essential for building
relationships and making enterprises run effectively, then we have a find a way
for outsiders to become insiders.
Recipients must become dispensers, authors of the rules, builders of
community.”
“We know these things.
And we have the capacity to accomplish them. But the will to change our traditional
charity systems – now that is the real challenge.”
So, what stands in the
way of changing our local charity systems?
What might be required
of us to usher in such change?
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