Chapter 1
1. Usually, we define our problem by what’s missing, but not
always. And the bottom line is this: We’ve all got problems. Sometimes those
problems relate to our job, sometimes to family, or health, or love, or money,
or any combination of these things. Sometimes our problems can feel so
overwhelming that we don’t even try to solve them. We just live with them -
like an irritating roommate we constantly complain about but never get around
to evicting. Our problems become our story, and we can all get stuck in our
stories. Deciding which problems to work on may be one of the most important
decisions you make, because people can lose years (or a lifetime) working on
the wrong problem.
- How have you tended
to define the problems in your life thus far?
2. These are all gravity problems, meaning they are not real
problems. Why? Because in life design, if it’s not actionable, it’s not a
problem. Let’s repeat that. If it’s not actionable, it’s not a problem. It’s a
situation, a circumstance, a fact of life. It may be a drag, but, like gravity,
it’s not a problem that can be solved.
- Give examples of
what distinguish problems from situations.
3. The key is not to get stuck on something that you have
effectively no chance of succeeding at. The
only response to a gravity problem is acceptance. And this is where all good
designers begin. This is the “You Are Here” or “Accept” phase of design
thinking. Acceptance. That’s why you start where you are. Not where you wish
you were. Not where you hope you are. Not where you think you should be. But
right where you are.
- Why is this such a
difficult recognition for us?
- What is required?
(For the remaining questions, please discuss in pairs.)
4. Your Health Gauge - As we said, healthy to us means
being well in more than just your body; you might want to take into account
your mind and spirit, too. The relative importance of each area is entirely up
to you.
- Make a quick
assessment of your health and then fill in your gauge. Are you a quarter full, half,
three-quarters, or really full?
5. Your Work Gauge - Make a list of all the ways you “work,”
and then “gauge” your working life as a whole. We are assuming that there are
things on your list that you are getting paid to do. This will include your
nine-to-five job, and your second job if the first isn’t enough, and any
consulting or advising you do, etc. If you are a regular volunteer in any
organization, figure that in, too. If you are a homemaker, like Debbie, make
sure you remember that raising children, providing meals for your family,
taking care of aging parents, and doing housework are all forms of “work.”
- Make a quick
assessment of your health and then fill in your gauge. Are you a quarter full,
half, three-quarters, or really full?
6. Your Play Gauge - Play is about activity that brings joy
just for the pure sake of the doing of it. It can include organized activity or
productive endeavors, but only if they are done for fun and not merit. We
contend that all lives need some play, and that making sure there is some play
in our day is a critical life design step.
- Make a quick list of
how you play and then fill in your gauge.
Are you a quarter
full, half, three-quarters, or really full?
7. Your Love Gauge - We do think that love makes the world go
around, and when we don’t have any, our world isn’t as bright and alive as it
could be. We also know that we have to pay attention to love, and that it
arrives in a wide range of forms. Our primary relationship is where we go first
for love, children typically come next, and then it’s a flood of people and
pets and community and anything else that is an object of affection. And it is
as critical to feel loved by others as it is to love— it has to go both ways.
- Where is the love
flowing in your life, from you and from others?
- Make a list. How full is your
gauge?
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