You Lost Me, by David Kinnaman

Chapter Ten

1.  In our modern evidence-based, logic-oriented culture, we may have a certain picture in our head of what it means to be a doubter. Many Christians believe that people who experience doubts simply lack the proper evidence or depth of conviction. But doubt is a far more nuanced and slippery experience that involves personality, lack of fulfillment, notions about certainty, relational alienation, and even mental health.

- Is the Christian community capable of holding doubt and faithfulness in tension, welcoming hard questions even as we press together toward answers?

- Or will the church continue to be seen as a place where doubters don’t belong because certainty is the same as faith? 

- Will we push doubters to the margins in order to be people with no doubts?

2.  Intellectual Doubt

Let’s begin with the doubters we expect: those who struggle with evidentiary forms of doubt, who are not satisfied with rational proofs that God exists or that Jesus was resurrected. Most Christian teenagers and young adults are not racking their brains (or their souls) in an effort to bring logical consistency to their faith claims. However, these types of concerns do affect millions of younger (and older) Americans and should not be minimized. What are the implications? There is still an important part to be played by traditional apologetics in dealing with intellectual questions that stand in the way of faith commitment—though the form apologetics takes must be adapted for the next generation. We might consider shifting away from a focus on “experts” toward a more relational approach.

- How might this shift be implemented?  At what potential cost?

3.  Institutional Doubt

A particular type of doubt experienced by the next generation is a form of institutional skepticism directed at present-day Christianity. As we described in the chapters on nomads, prodigals, and exiles, one out of five young people (21 percent) with a Christian background said, “I am a Christian, but the institutional church is a difficult place for me to live out my faith.” Exposure to some of the darkest parts of religious life can also sow seeds of doubt. Among the young adults with a Catholic background, one-fifth reported “the priest-abuse scandals have made me question my faith.” Another doubt breaks my heart and has dire implications for the leadership of tomorrow’s church. Nearly one out of every eight young Christians (13 percent) said they “used to work at a church and became disillusioned.” Our research did not probe whether they were church staff or church volunteers, but either way, there are tens of thousands of twentysomethings disconnected because of firsthand negative experiences serving in a congregation.

- How can we do a better job of monitoring the experiences young people are having in leadership?

4.  Unexpressed Doubt

I believe unexpressed doubt is one of the most powerful destroyers of faith. Our research reveals that many young people feel the church is too small a container in which to carry their doubts. Fully one-third of young Christians (36 percent) agree that “I don’t feel that I can ask my most pressing life questions in church.” One out of ten (10 percent) put it more bluntly: “I am not allowed to talk about my doubts in church.” This statistic signals one of the challenges that the next generation of Christians brings to the church. They are used to “having a say” in everything related to their lives. As we noted earlier, communication, fueled by technology, is moving from passive to interactive. Yet the structure of young adult development in most churches and parishes is classroom-style instruction. It is passive, one-sided communication—or at least that’s the perception most young people have of their religious education. They find little appetite within their faith communities for dialogue and interaction.

- Is this how some young Christians perceive us? Why/why not?

5.  Transitional Doubt

Two out of every five young people (38%) say they have experienced a time when they “significantly doubted their faith.” We offered an array of options in our survey for why doubt arises, and a substantial number of respondents indicated that their doubts were rooted in personal, rather than intellectual, reasons. 12% said, “The death of a loved one has caused me to doubt.” 18% said that they “have or had a crisis in life that has made me doubt my faith.” 20% indicated that “church does not help me with depression or other emotional problems,” which negatively affects his or her faith journey. We might classify these types of doubt as transitional, arising out of a deeply affecting personal experience. Most believers experience transitional doubt at some point in their lives, yet not all receive the kind of support and encouragement from fellow believers that can catalyze it into a sustaining faith.

- Have you or a family member experienced transitional doubt?

6.  Doubting Turns to Doing

Creating faith communities where doubts of all kinds can be honestly, openly, and relationally explored is one way to make the turn with the next generation. Another is giving young adults an opportunity to put feet to their faith. Many of the deepest truths of Christianity become clear when we put our faith into action; in the doing, believing makes sense. Sometimes the best thing we can do with our unbelief is to stop fixating on it and get busy for the sake of others. We need to help young adults do something with their faith in order to contextualize their doubts within the church’s mission.

- Where have you witnessed this approach succeed?

- How has it served to strengthen and grow your faith?